I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
