I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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