please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
