I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
