I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
