I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
