smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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