Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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