Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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