So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
