i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
