Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I think I died a long time ago.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
