lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
