Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
