She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
