Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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