There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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