dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
