Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize