Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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