I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
