Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Ketchup is God's man juice
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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