i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
