My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
