so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
