Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize