well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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