Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
