Kareoke will never be a sober sport
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I still have a little drunk in my system
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
