hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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