Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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