i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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