awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
