I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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