Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
