so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
