I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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