He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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