I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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