evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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