She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
