I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
