just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
