I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
