What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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