so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
