Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize