if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
