u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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