OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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