is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
