the day after is always just damage control
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
