maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
