More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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