i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
