Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
