It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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