don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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