What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
