Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
